A Life Update
The last few months have been a true journey.
I have nested. In a sweet little flat on the south side of Glasgow, I have found a place to call home. She is Flora the Flat and the name suits her just fine. I’m getting to know her and she is getting to know me; she is probably the most important relationship I have in my life right now.
A few weeks ago, I went on a retreat here in Scotland. It was eye-opening and life changing. I’d like to share what I wrote one morning. In this writing, She is representative of the universe, of love and the life force behind all things.
I don’t know where to begin.
Last night, I disintegrated. Left my body, felt it fall away until I was nothing but floating energy. This is what freedom feels like. I had no worries, nothing to be concerned about. I was blissful in being.
Have fun, she laughed to me. Play different characters, try them on for size, empathise, and let warrior women take my voice when I am too afraid to use my own. I will truly figure out who I am when I step into the shoes of others.
Life is glorious, she told me. Each morning I can wiggle ten fingers and ten toes and dance into my day. Each day, I can ask myself ‘wouldn’t it be fun if…..?’ and then I can give myself permission to live it.
Play games, she encouraged me. Make them up on the spot, and don’t get too strict with the rules.
And bloody hell, Hazel, write, she demanded. I call myself writer, after all. So pick a new stimulus every day and get creative. Type up stories for friends; remember the craft you fell in love with.
Honour more, she asked me. Honour the past and my surroundings. Buy history books about Glasgow. Create a ceremony for this new flat. Be present.
‘You are goddess, it is as simple as that.’
She told me that I was holding onto pain because I thought I needed an anchor. But I don’t. I can honour what once was, and set it free.
All we have is right now, she reminded me.
The only thing that is truly real is this present moment in time, so if you’re not here, you’re not anywhere.